Laws of Attraction

 Content advisory: viewer discretion is advised.

And I'm quite serious, I'm going to deal with some mature topics here, specifically around sexuality. I am responding to internet discourse with philosophical context and language racier than Georgette Heyer for the sake of directness. No minotaurs, but proeeed at your own risk.

Every so often one encounters ideas that have escaped the manosphere and that are being espoused by the worst kind of calvinists--the reader may object that all of them are the worst kind. Yes, yes, this is true, but here I mean the most obnoxious kind.

One encounters these ideas because, unfortunately, the most obnoxious kind of calvinists tend to have a direct impact on what one sees coming out of the most obnoxious kind of Lutheran--which, inversely, is typically not the worst kind of Lutheran, but rather the mostly great sort of Lutheran who betrays their excellence with occasional bouts of calvinist derived manosphere bullshit.

So here it is. Self proclaimed manly men on the internet are upset that their ladies are not excited to make love to them at the drop of a hat. "Why do I want sex, but my wife doesn't? Ultimately, she owes me sex, so she needs to suck it up and do her duty." And then, after  they proceed with this mindset, they are stunned when all parties to the act are not proceeding with maximum enthusiasm.

The problem with these men is that they have had their worldview and their concept of the relation between the sexes corrupted by feminism. With the great Henry Higgins they find themselves asking "why can't a woman be more like a man?"

They have failed to account and understand the fact that their wives are deeply, inherently, intriniscally different from themselves.

Lads, women require romannce. Did you think that ended when she became your wife?

Women live in a more intense emotional reality; they are simply better at identifying, manging, and responding to emotion. I imagine this is kind of akin to how some people have a wider dimesion of smells that they smell, or colors that they see. Women live in a greater spectrum of emotional nuance. This is why they make better doctors--their empathy.

This also is part of why their relationship with sex is different. Their relatioship with sex is still viscerally physical in the way it is for men, but there is also a more fundamentally emotional element. Trust me, I've been in the lab with this for years. And the interesting truth is that, for women, the emotional comes before the physical.

And c'mon, we've always known this. The concept of ostentacious, demonstrative romance is as old as literature, and your grandfather knew about the grand romantic gesture.

I repeat. Feminism told you that men and women are basically the same thing. Congratulations, you have managed to shed some of the notions, but your attitudes are still tainted in the bedroom. You still expect her to act like a man, and it does not work like that.

Because I am me, I will also pull in a biblical simile--and I'm not going to even go to song of songs, which you should probably read and take a page from. Our Lord is the Bridegroom. He treats his church with solicitude, loving-kindness, andgentleness. He does not force her, but wins her for himself.

And sure, there will always be extreme cases where two people get married, and one of them figures out they should have been a nun--a terrible thing for all parties, but I think this is probably an exception rather than the rule, just as St. Paul is the exception on the male side.

I think the reality is that too many men expect that they can be emotionally distant and neglectful in the day to day and then just jump into bed and bang their wives later. Don't be an ape. Joy in the marriage bed begins with joy at the dinner table, joy in the kitchen while preparing for dinner with the family, and maybe with occasional joy in grabbing her up in your arms to give her a little bite and tell her you love her out of nowhere.

Learn to express appreciation. Look for opportunities for emotional connection. Don't be in a rush.

Treat her like a lady, not like a man with ovaries.