Friday, February 17, 2012

Da Mojo

9:53 PM Posted by Patrick 2 comments
Dear internet diary...thing.

This winter, to put it plainly, it felt like I just did not have my mojo. I was feeling lackluster, tired, and generally in a less than decent mood. My laughter was not coming so easily as I thought it should, and everything seemed like a bigger deal than it actually was.

These days, thankfully, are passed. I have rediscovered a liking for people--at least for the time being--and my crinkly-eyed smile along with it. I am feeling this in my daily life, and in my work. I do not dread the work, and have a much better attitude attitude about it. And I also feel like talking again.

This last statement might be somewhat odd, but I can say quite honestly, that I have not really wanted to talk for the last several months. I have been quieter than has ever been my wont, and it only now strikes me that such quietness--when I see it in others--strikes me with as standoffish. Whoops.

Maybe it was not enough sunlight, or perhaps a little too much...something or other. Or it might have been too little of something else. Whatever it was; it is gone. I am more myself than I was earlier this year, and a thousand times over from this last fall.

Whatever has happened, my mojo is restored...

...which, horribly enough, shows up most in how much I flirt. Oh well.

I'd also be lying if I said that I thought the Disney movies had nothing to do with it.

Perhaps there is something in that. I have been so concerned with ideas, ideals, and philosophy ( all of which I was steeping in) this last year, that I lost my sense of romance. I was so concerned with the idea of philadelphia and the highest good that I lost sight of the fact that there are more beautiful things than these. Womankind, to name one. But let us be serious on that count; the love of man and woman and of family was the first love, and is the nearest reflection of God's love for man. It is no accident that the imagery of Christ's love for the church is that of a bridegroom for his bride.

While our love is a dim shadow of that which Christ has shown for us; it still remains that this is the greatest virtue of which humans are capable, and it is not unobtainable, like the perfect republics built in words, but exists everyday. It is something well beyond philadelphia. It is philadelphia and eros and even shades of agape.

I will not pretend that I feel such a thing, or that I expect to feel it in the near future, but I will. I wait, and grow, and continue to mature. And I am anything but impatient; I will be ready in good time, and until then--and forevermore--I rest secure in the love of God.

And isn't that a pleasant thought now? All prompted by Beauty and the Beast.