Thursday, January 6, 2011

Lamp Post

11:17 PM Posted by Patrick 8 comments
Lamp Post, Aged 5, died earlier this afternoon when some privileged white girl ran him over. Lamp Post was fond of the outdoors and was especially good with dogs. According to those who knew Lamp, he was "a beacon in the darkness."

It is as yet unknown what caused the accident which ended Lamp's bright future, but locals are suggesting it might have been deliberate. Fort Wayne Police say they believe the accident to be tied to illegal drag-racing, but are withholding all further comment pending a formal investigation.


  1. I heard someone was driftng...

  2. Any reason you felt a need to deface one of the few decorative public fixtures in a poor black neighborhood?

  3. You forgot to mention that old Lamp was also black.

  4. What? That lots of black people live around there? Nonsense.