Zohran the Destroyer

 Well done, Matt. Now we are eating.


A Muslim, a catholic, and a Kennedy walk into a bar.


No, wait, a conservative, a liberal, and a communist walk into a bar.


No, lets try again, an African, an Italian, and a Pol...ish person walk into a bar.


The three way mayoral race in New York should be introduced with such a line, because we can all see that it is a pretty bad joke.


Ladies and gentlemen, behind door number one I give you:

Cuomo. The ossified scion of american political gentry. A good catholic, who publicly professes against the beliefs of the church. A great statesman, who left office under the cloud of numerous scandals. Who could not seriously be on this ballot if he was not a wealthy political blue blood with the backing of a political matchine.


And in this corner I give you the champion of the little man Homer Stokes!

No, actually, it is Zohran Mamdani, the stunning underdog son of...wealthy elites with extensive  connections. No worries though, Zohran is here to make a fairer New York. He is going to cut down the tall trees, flatten the skyline, and make sure that no one ever has more than you. 


And in the final corner, the guardian angel of New York politics, the winged hussar of the modern age:


Curtis Silwa! Like every good conservative catholic, Silwa has been married four times and in one long term non-marital relationship that produced children. Silwa despite his faults is the kind of noble pole we expect from history; shot by the mob for being a force against organized crime, and taking on Mamdani and Cuomo in New York, which is basically like fighting Prussia and Russia at the same time.



For me, I am rooting for ZOHRAN. Not only did I love him in Godzilla, but I think he could do beautiful work in New York. I think all of you wimps are foaming at the mouth against him because either:

1. You are afraid he will have success and validate his ideas

2. You are also scorn the people in camp 1, but are concerned for the inevitable suffering of the people of New York.


To people answering to 1: HA!


To people answering to number 2...c'mon. People need to deal with the consequences of their actions eventually. Zohran will be good for the people of New York. Humility is a virtue, and sometimes you need to be brought low before you can do anything with them. This is a people that needs a budgetary momento mori.


VOTE ZOHRAN! I even have the new slogan: The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 27, 2025 at 12:48 PM

    Accelerationism! An excellent choice, sir.

    Also, not to be that guy - I say, fooling no one - but Zohran is a Democratic Socialist, not a Communist. Probably you were just exercising artistic license, but enough people are uncritically invoking the C-word that I like to make sure that the more boring truth is also explicitly stated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WhimNovember 3, 2025 at 9:02 PM

      Dead Anonymouse,

      Please read all of these missives in the spirit in which they are written, and in which the author fully intended the audience to read from the mind; I briefly thought that I was a annarhist communist in college, and would have been teaching theory on the commune with Doreen.

      Using the C word for Lord Zohran is pure playful bombast.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousOctober 27, 2025 at 12:50 PM

    Oh Blogger isn't letting me log in, so I guess I have to sign these manually

    -Nat

    ReplyDelete

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