This is Why I Would Prefer Objective Writing Assignments

In composition class my professor assigned a literacy narrative, a brief telling of an event, or series of events, that shaped the way we looked at and dealt with the English language. I wrote about the first book I ever read, Harry Potter. My verbiages in that draft contain greater eloquence than will ever issue forth from my lips. I was incredibly pleased with it because, though it has a few copy errors here and there, it is good and it is mine. I will admit, even in a rough draft I demand that segments of my phrasing be just so. Though the whole process was relatively short I was always careful to use the right word, or the right phrase, the wrong word simply would not do. I placed a considerable piece of myself into that piece, which is only fitting in a piece I write about me. But now there is an issue.

For the final draft I am supposed to do some pretty radical revision. It is not that my piece was not good, on the contrary, my peers and professor loved it. But the second half of this assignment is to rework it. As I sat down to begin I met with the realization of just how difficult that will be on so subjective a topic. I did not include any pointless information, nor clumsy phrases, nor poor words, weak and devoid of meaning, nor cliches, nor ambiguity, nor any stuffiness. My paper was entertaining, complete, and filled with phrases that very accurately portrayed my impressions, thoughts, and feelings. In short; in my eyes it was beautiful and I do not wish to dismantle it. I already used my best words, the words that I meant, the words the flowed naturally from my mind onto the page. My first draft was incredibly true to my feelings, I cannot see how my second draft can be nearly so. I am left with the awful task of dismembering my work, and why? Not because my work needs to be dismembered, but because everyone has to. If you're going to make me dismember my work at least give me an impersonal topic!

I'm afraid that I'm going to need to make it longer. In my narrative I am supposed to include the details I consider important, and there is nothing in that piece that I could remove without leaving it incomplete. What a pity.... My teacher was stressing the need for it to be at least three pages, and that more than half of my classmates had failed to meet that mark. I can't imagine churning out something adequate in less than five. Maybe I'll right another...on a whim. ;-p