...By the Grace of God.

What is it to be an acolyte? Any acolyte worth his salt--any of my guys--could tell you that it is a servant, not an "altar boy" or a "candle lighter." Well what does that mean? We all look the same don't we?

The truth is that it means nothing outside of the context of the Divine Service.

Have you ever noticed the waiters at a really nice restaurant? They aren't chummy like most waiters, but they are immaculately dressed and have absolutely rhadamanthine discipline. The immaculate dress is always the same; they have a uniform. The waiter is not important; he serves to make sure that the service in the restaurant goes smoothly and lend to the dignity of the environment. The best waiter are almost unnoticeable as they preform their duties.

An acolyte has a uniform; it covers over his individuality, physique, and personality. It is the same as every other acolyte around him. We are all the same, and it is not we that matter, but that which we serve. We are there to lend greater dignity to the celebration.

We, however, are only the lowliest on the scale of servants, and we serve the master of ceremonies; the man who sees that the feast is kept according dictum of the MASTER of The House. Our job, first and foremost, is to make his job easier and to assist him in any way that is needed.

We are servants at a feast; The Feast. We are servants of the Greatest King, at his high feast, and we conduct ourselves accordingly. We serve our King as best we can, in order that his feast might be carried out in all its sweet splendor.

To be an acolyte is no trifling matter. An acolyte must be disciplined, solemn, intelligent, solicitous, and always directing the guests to that which is important. We are always watching where there is something important. Our every action should point to the significance of the service, even our eyes should be so employed.

There are two reasons that our Corp does not use female acolytes. Firstly, and most significantly, acolyting is in large part a preparation for the Lord's service in higher capacity. One must be a waiter before one is the master of ceremonies. I have no doubt that some of my guys will end up as pastors. This is an opportunity to accustom them to the service and improve their knowledge of rubric and the conduct of the service while they are yet young.

Second...have you ever seen the difference between mixed gender and single gender middle school sports teams? I have been a member of both in my youth. Boys do not keep focus when the girls are around and they tend to goof around and show off a lot more. Their head has a tendency to go into the clouds. And, worst of all, guys get contentious. Nothing causes chaos quite like a pretty girl in the middle of a bunch of developing males with wacky hormones. We call ourselves the Corp for a reason; our camaraderie is aimed at a military style of connection. We are bound by mutual discipline and experience; it is a brotherhood.

A solid corp of acolytes requires; to start, a strong leader who takes it seriously and can get others to follow (we were lucky to start with a Winston); discipline; clergy who are available for questions and knowledgeable in the rubrics and theology of the service; a sense of brotherhood and belonging, as a kind of positive peer pressure; and responsibility: trust your acolytes with tasks and duties aside from lighting candles; the trust means more than you could ever know.

I think I'll extrapolate on this later, but this is a good beginning.